Getting Your Math Wrong, or That Bookcase is Heavier Than It Looks

A True Story*

About a week before The Strain of Evil struck, I decided on the spur of the moment that my bookcases and living area needed to be rearranged. This sounds easy enough; except that one of the bookcases I decided to move was on the second floor. But, I got out the measuring tape (see, at least I made sure everything would fit first) and saw that my plan would work perfectly.

With furniture polish in one hand, I started unpacking bookcase 1 – which I also managed to move easily into its new place. After a cup of tea I went upstairs and braced myself for The Unpacking of Bookcase Two. The shelves contained classics (in the sense of Austen and Dickens), some of my textbooks and books I’ll call “Miscellaneous”.  After a quick dusting of the wooden shelves, I started to maneuver it towards the staircase. And managed to get it down two steps (of sixteen) before it got stuck. Tilting it a bit, it slid down two more and I suddenly became very aware that the weight and momentum it had at this angle was much more than I had anticipated. And I was stuck, unable to haul it back up or to carry it down. 

I then did the intelligent thing and went to call a neighbour to help. Only… I didn’t. Because I couldn’t let go of the bookcase. At. All. Let’s just say I ended up sitting crushed next to the thing, sliding down one step at a time and holding on for dear life. With my cat watching me and laughing. Of course it then also got stuck on the last two steps which turn the corner (and which I had left out of my brilliant calculations). But, being a stoere boeremeisie, I at last got it past the stairs, into an upright position and in its new place against the wall without any crushed fingers or toes.

I am very thankful my cat can’t operate my cell, or I’d probably have a whole video of the experience to share with the world. And, yes, this did come to mind more than once – shouldn’t TV be educational?

*But with exclamations and internal dialogue removed. Feel free to add them as you see fit while reading this adventure.