It’s a well-known fact that all sorts of
creatures haunt Valentine’s night; lured to the mortal world by the overabundance
of hormones. It’s quite easy to spot satyrs, centaurs, basilisks, manticores
and even a vampire or two waiting in the shadows for a victim to come along. Unicorns,
of course, are quite scarce on this night...
It is the duty of all Single Folk to ensure
that these creatures do not break up happy couples (or exsanguinate them),
which is why lame excuses like “I’m staying home and watching a few DVDs” or
“I’m going to wash my hair” are so common. We are just so humble that we don’t
want all the happy couples’ praises heaped upon us. So, in the spirit of
Valentine’s Day, I will patrol the streets to make sure that others who are
actually on dates do not have their evening spoiled by having a few of
Bacchus’s satyrs show up unannounced.
Or maybe I will stay at home and watch
Zeffirelli’s Romeo and Juliet. Or Giselle. Or perhaps Gilbert and
Sullivan’s The Mikado. Eat some
chocolate... Maybe wash my hair...
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